Weight

Topic says it all right? After I had Little Man, the weight fell off. I was amazed. Each day I'd weigh first thing to see how many pounds I'd lost overnight. Once I was about 3-4 pounds from pre-pregnancy weight, it pretty much stopped. I was also breastfeeding. I wanted to loose weight BEFORE getting pregnant! Let's see the numbers...don't laugh. My first pregnancy visit I was 154. 135-140ish looks best on me. So I was shooting for 140. Oh well. While breastfeeding (for 3 months) I was 158. A month or so after I stopped nursing, I'm around 168-170. That's embarrassing to say, but I guess I feel better for admitting it and just putting it out there! I guess after being pregnant for 9 (10?) months and then nursing, I was just used to eating more and it not affecting me! I've been thinking about it alot lately and complaining to DH. I finally got him to admit I needed to loose some! That would make some mad but I made him say it and he didn't say anything in a mean bad way. I need to really work on it now before it gets out of control. So a few days ago I started paying attention to calories. I did my BMR online and it says I use like 1500 calories a day to maintain my weight. That's not a lot to me! I was hoping it was like 2500 (LOL) so I could cut down to like 1500 and lose weight easier! So my goal is around 1200 a day. I've been eating TONS of fruit. I don't know if that's bad. Example, I'll eat a banana with breakfast and then an apple between breakfast and lunch. Later I may eat another banana and afer supper I'll cut up some fruit in a bowl for dessert. I don't know if too much can have bad affects? Anyway. I feel better already. I never really felt like I was eating a lot...I really wasn't! But I guess maybe now I'm just eating better and hopefully it'll help. DH has been hearing me say I was gonna diet for months now and I really wanna prove to him and myself I can do this and not give up on myself! It's just really hard. I love food, it's all good!! So when I wanna go snack on some chips or whatever I literally have to go through a thought process to keep myself from doing it! I know it'll get easier..especially if I can see some weight come off. I am miserable at my weight now and I am always concious of it. I don't even want to be around our friends right now because all the girls are smaller than me and looking good for summer. Hardly any of my clothes fit and hardly any of the ones that do fit, fit well! blah blah blah..I know, you've heard it all before from someone.

Try this again...

We're at my parents and my dad got home, which Little Man ADORES so he went to him and they're talking now.

So, Little Man is now 5 1/2 months old. Geeez. It makes me wanna cry. Each time he does something new I'm so excited but at the same time I'm sad because I tell him he's not old enough or big enough to do that yet. He does the usuals, rolls, laughs, 'talks', smiles, plays with toys and just this weekend started sitting up. He won't always do it and sometimes longer than others but we are well on our way.

He is a big boy too, literally. He's always been off the charts in height and weight, but he doesn't look fat really. We went to the doctor Tuesday due to him being really fussy and I was scared I was ignoring something (which he was totally fine) and the nurse thought he was at least 9 months old. He weighed in at 20 pounds 4 ounces. They didn't check his length but at his 4 month appt he was over 28 inches.

About the sitting up, I'll be glad when he perfects because he naturally got too long for his infant seat so we changed him to a Britax Boulevard which we love by the way. So, no more riding in the seat while we push a grocery cart or sitting in the seat while we go out and eat. We have to tote him and hold him while we eat.

I think he's trying to cut a tooth because his sleeping has really gone from bad to worse. To begin with he's NEVER slept through the night. The closest we have been is there have been 3 nights that I only got up once to give him his paci and let him fall back asleep. He had given up eating during the night, then like 2 weeks ago he started wanting to eat...then about a week ago he wanted to eat 2 times. The last 4 nights he's woken up A LOT. The past two I decided not to feed him and see how he acts. We've never co-slept. He's been in his crib since 7 weeks and loves his bed and space. But the last two nights after I have gotten up about 100 times I've brought him to the spare room with me and we sleep there. Or he sleeps better, I barely sleep when not in my bed. So, he stirs a little and I give him his paci and he's been fine not eating, so I think he was starting a little habit and I think he enjoys getting mommy out of bed and getting attention so we have to break that somehow. I could try letting him cry before going in, but he's a tummy sleeper and usually wakes up because he's rolled over and can't fall asleep on his back! So I'm constantly rolling him back over. Anyway, I could talk about sleep issues for days so I'll save more later. Now for some pics <>

I can sit up!

bad bad blogger

So, I have been bad and was going to post a serious update, while my mom had Little Man, but he is FUSSING terribly with her. Be back later!

formula

So Little Man took his first bottle of formula Tuesday afternoon at 12:45. The rest of the day he went 3 hours before eating again, since then he's trying to push them a little closer. I wonder if he needs to eat a little more at each feeding. Sleeping has been sooo much better. The first night he ate last at 6:45. I'm used to him eating and going to bed at 9 so I figured he'd be awake until his next feeding, NOPE fell asleep at like 8:30 or so. Slept until 3:15. Last night he ate at 6 so I thought he'd surely stay up and eat around 8:30, NOPE, fell asleep at 8 and slept until 2:30 or. So the past two nights since he's gone to bed so early we've had to get up twice. I am determined if he stayed up later and went to bed on a full belly he'd sleep longer. Like last night even though he didnt' go to bed until 8:30, his last meal was at 6. So from 6 pm until 2:30 am he went without food, if it were later that would have been good sleeping time..like from 9 until 5:30! Do you realize how fabulous that would have been!?!?! Of course with him sleeping longer the past two nights I wake up wondering when he's gonna wake up. haha. I hope to be blessed like a friend of mine. She puts her baby down at 9 after a bottle and he gets up between 7 and 8 and sometimes sleeps until almost 9!!

ramblings

So..I love nursing, love it. I love being the only one to be able to feed my gorgeous baby.

That is what I say to myself 97 percent of the time..then the other time...

I wish someone else could do it so I could get a break. I want to sleep for like 6-7 hours without having to get up. I would love to sleep longer than that..just once even!! I would like to have a margarita or something..not indulge too much, just have one and not have to worry about pumping afterwards and all that. I would like to work more on my weight. I pretty much lost all of my pregnancy weight except for about 4-6 pounds that keep fluctuating. I would like to really focus on it and get in shape for this nice weather. I needed to lose about 15 pounds before getting pregnant!

So after I think all of these things I feel bad and feel like I am being selfish!

I miss sleep. Oh my gosh how I miss it. Lately there have been a few times where he'll seep for 5-6 hours straight...for instance, he may sleep from 9-2, get up and eat and go back down..since he slept for 5 hours the next stretch will not go any longer than 4 hours..usually more like 3, so he'll be up again around 5:30, then around 7:30 for the day. That's a good night..only getting up twice. Last night, he slept from 8:30 until 12:45, then got up at 3, then at 4:15, then 6:30, woke up crying at 7:30, got paci and slept again until around 8:30. That is a not so good night for me.

I was going to take a nap, first his daddy called, had to get up. Then the unemployment office called, had to get up and talk awhile. He was waking up before I could hang up..ugh.

I can deal with all the things that go with nursing other than the sleep deal. After a night like last night I just want to give him some formula since that seems to tide babies over all night! I read other nursing mom stories and they too have babies who will sleep all night long..I'm sooooo jealous.

BIG Boy

I was sitting with Little Man yesterday, talking to him and I was just barely holding him up. He was sitting up, holding his head up and looking around, 'talking' to me and laughing and I wondered how he all of a sudden could do this!

"I Only Wanna Be With You...."

Yesterday morning at church was the first time that I knew my little booger knew for sure who I was and knew for sure he only wanted his mommy.

His Aunt and Uncle recently started coming..two Sunday's ago..and she was in the row in front of us. My mom had been holding him but passed him to his aunt because my parents see the Little Man daily. Anyway, he fussed and fussed, never really straight out cried, but wouldn't be quiet, just whiny. I focused on the preacher rather than stare or try to take him because I didn't want to affend her..does that make sense? I didn't want her to feel like I thought she couldn't handle it. So I watched from the corner of my eye as she tried to comfort him and change his position etc, and he would never stop. Finally my dad felt sorry for him crying and told my mama to tell me to get him! As soon as I did he instantly hushed. He rested his little head on my shoulder and never made a peep. He eventually fell asleep.

The next best part was when my hubby noticed too. He leaned over and whispered "No on can do it like mommy can". It was SOOO cute.

How I Met Your Father

July 12, 2003


We had just ate Mexican in town with my grandmother and Aunt, ‘we’ being my boyfriend and I. I was 19 years old and we had been dating since I was 12. I was just too in love and thought we would be together forever. Even though I knew he’d cheated on me and lied to me, done drugs behind my back, I still thought he was absolutely perfect. This was the guy that could tell me the sky was yellow and I’d believe him.

We had plans to hang out with some friends. When we arrived they were all out riding 4-wheelers and golf carts so we went down the road to find them and they were all stopped talking at a stop sign. That was the first time I saw him. I saw him looking at me too but I was sitting in the middle of my “fiance’s” truck. We went back to my friend’s house. Everyone other than our married friends went back to the ‘party house’. We stopped at my friend’s house to pick up our alcohol for the night. While there, my fiancé and I naturally got into a fight. I don’t remember what it was about but I do remember he locked me in a bedroom and told me he would not let me out. He did something like clap his hands together and our friends thought he hit me so they came busting in, thank goodness. I thought I was free. Instead my fiancé picked me up and carried me to the bathroom where he again, locked the door. He told me he would not let me out until I forgave him and we got back together, etc. Little did he know, the bathroom door opened to the outside. He was leaned against it and I somehow managed to get to the handle, unlock it and open it and he FELL out the door so I ran.

Now he was really mad. I met my friends outside. We decided we’d walk to the party, carrying our Mike’s Hard Lemonade. My ex got in his truck, drove across the road all crazy, through the ditch, spinning in circles in a field, just trying to get my attention. He followed us to the party and was so upset that some other friends asked him to stay, just so he wouldn’t be on the roads driving like a maniac. I was mad. I wanted him to leave. So, I proceeded to drown my sorrows and have a good time.

Everyone needed a beer run so a few of us girls decided to go. I think the first time me and my now DH spoke was when I told him if he needed anything to let me know and I’d bring it back. So I did.

After we got back we all rode golf carts while drunk. (Everyone should try it!) My friends strategically placed me on the same cart as my now DH and my ex on another one. He tried to follow us all night. Of course in my drunken stupor I ended up kissing Now DH. I gave him my number.

A week went by and he never called..so what, I figured he wouldn’t anyway. One day at work I had a call and it was him. Somehow in our drunken states I mentioned where I worked and he remembered!! He had me hooked then!