This and That

7 weeks today! Tomorrow I start my 8th week. Seems unreal. My first doctor appointment is Thursday. How exciting!! Anyway, I'm posting a poem by Maya Angelou that I really like. Maybe you will too!


You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I riseUp from a past that's rooted in pain
I riseI'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

another day

I have to say that I hope Taylor wins American Idol!! "Soul Patrol" Anyway, deep down I wanted Chris to win and was totally shocked when he was voted off. Now that it's down to Taylor and McPheever, I hope he takes it. I tried to vote alot last night, mostly it was busy, got through maybe 4 times.

Anyway, feel pretty good today. I haven't really felt icky any today. I could use some sleep but I felt like that pre-pregnancy. I am noticing I am having a problem finding foods to eat that 'sound good'. Know what I mean? I don't really feel pregnant today. I don't know how you feel it if you aren't sick or cramping or something. Right now I'm just hungry for lunch! So I have moved into my 7th week, sitting at 6 weeks 1 day right now. Feels nice. I can't wait to get out of this pesky first trimester. I had my miscarriage at around 11 weeks, so I want to soar by that!! Anywho, drink up on water!! None for me yet today, had to drink a sprite this morning!!

6 weeks

Tomorrow marks the 6 week mark in all of this. I can't wait for next Thursday. That's my first official appointment and we'll get to have an ultrasound done and everything. I should be 7 weeks 2 days then. I can't wait. I have been feeling better in a way I guess. I got sick Friday night after chinese food. Don't know if it was pregnancy related or not? Who knows. This morning I ate my usual poptarts for breakfast and was miserable for awhile afterwords. Don't want to eat them for breakfast for awhile. I will have to find something else. I am not as hungry as often. I find I am eating at meal times just to eat, sometimes makeing me feel yucky afterwards even if I only eat a little. I read on a message board where one girl couldn't really stomach food until lunch time or so, so I may try that.

Tired

The past two nights I haven't slept well. I only feel tired during the day. Like right now. I desperately wanna just lay down for a few minutes. Internet says to take short naps during the day. If only that were possible!!! I slept really bad Sunday night so I thought last night I'd hit the hay early, but by 9 o'clock I felt fine and watched two sitcoms. I woke up several times last night. I normally get up around 3 to use the restroom, but last night and the night before I got up at 12 something and then around 2 something and also at 5! It's outrageous. Hopefully I just drank too much those evenings and it won't be like this forever. I thought the constant bathroom trips came much later!!!

So the bathroom trips and mild cramps are the only symptoms I feel. The cramps help me feel pregnant. When they go away I can almost forget I am even pregnant. I went walking last night and after like 5 minutes cramps came so I went back home. Don't want to do anything in these first weeks to mess anything up.

I don't know if this has to do with being pregnant or not..but sometimes I wake up hungry, like really having a yearning for food and my stomach growling!! Also the past several days I get hungry between breakfast and lunch, like right now. I had two little muffins for breakfast, but now I want something. We don't really have anything too interesting to eat at work...cookies, candy and such. If I am going to start eating more, I want it to at least be healthy, so I am passing until I get home for lunch.

Tonight is American Idol. Nothing comes on that I watch right after that, so maybe I can go to bed. I don't even really want to watch it since they got rid of Chris. He was my favorite. I do watch Real World but it doesn't come on until 10 so I will have to catch it on re-runs!!

For now I guess, I'll prop back in my chair at work until I hear someone coming to the door. *yawn*

sooo...

I went to the doc right before lunch. Gave a urine sample to use as a pregnancy test. That's a waste to me!! Anyway, it was positive. I go back June 1st for an ultrasound. Right now due date is at January 17, 2007!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm stoked!

ta-da!

So Friday on my way to lunch I stopped by the dollar store to buy a home pregnancy test. I was about 3 days late and getting suspicious. Afterwards I went home to have lunch. I didn't have to pee until about 2 pm. I was trying to 'hold it' so I'd really have to go and have enough!! Anywho, it turned positive before I even got off the toilet!! I called MOH right then..heart beating fast and all and told him. He was around people at work so he couldn't get all into it, but he was surprised and excited. We didn't want to tell anyone until I took another test. Friday night by the time we got to a store, they were all closed. So we had to wait until Saturday. I knew I was pregnant so we bought my mom a grandma mother's day card. We also bought a 2 pack home test. It was positive. We gave the card to my mom and she goes "grandma?" and then turned and looked at me so fast and said "Are you?!?!?!" Anyway, she was excited. Right now only my parents know. They live close to us and I figure I may need her to go to an appointment with me like last time. We don't plan to tell anyone else until about 12-13 weeks, which is around July 4th. I am supposed to go to the doctor today to have it confirmed. I can only go if I can get someone to come sit in my office while I'm gone, so we'll have to see about that. Based on the computer my due date is around January 16th. The doc of course will set the real one and I will change my ticker accordingly. We never would have thought we would have gotten pregnant this month. We only 'tried' once..maybe twice around ovulation time. I am beyond excited.

My Dear Aunt Flo

She's due today. I have that familiar crampy feeling. Even though I KNEW it was coming, I still had this false sense of hope that *maybe* it worked even though I'm not sure that I ovulated and not sure we had sex at the right time. Anywho. I'll keep ya updated on what happens and exactly when CD 1 starts!

maybe I'm weird?

Does it ever bother you when people ask when you are going to have a child? I never thought about it before I really started trying. I have been guilty of asking. I know better now. Saturday night someone I didn't even know asked how long I'd been married and then let me know I should be having a child. It's like DUH! It's not that I don't want to. It's that I had to 16 months without even being able to and now I have to start trying. I'm on my third cycle of trying. So if my period comes next week we'll start number 4! I'm sure it will because we didn't really have a chance to 'try' plus I never really felt like I ovulated. I'm just glad no one really knows we are trying. My mom knows, that's because I need someone to talk to when I'm feeling crazy. I was even upset that we weren't going to get to try this month so I had to tell her about it. Anyway, we don't want anyone to know, I don't want anyone asking "did it work this month" or any kind of crazy stuff like that. The plan is also not to tell anyone until we pass the first trimester. I told my husband the only ones that will know are me and him and my mom because she works in the same town as me and can help me out with doc appts and such, I like for someone to go with me. Anyway, for now I'm just *praying for a healthy baby*!

*sigh*

So we took the big chance and gave it a go. I'm not even sure if I ovulated this month or not though. Last month I felt it, really felt it, knew it was happening. This month *crickets* nothing. We probably had sex twice during the time ovulation was to occur, so I'm not really counting on anything to happen from it. My period is due next week and I fully expect to see it. Although how great would it be for it not to come!!